Adoption
within the African community is not new. People have adopted this practice for
centuries in the form of taking care of a relative, assisting a Sister,
Brother, Cousin, etc. However, Africans never gave it a label as the 'Adoptee'
is seen as a member of the family and no one would have known any different if
the 'Adopter' or Adoptive Parent(s) never mentioned the relationship to anyone.
However, it is the Western World that has labelled such arrangement as
'Adoption'. The reason is because in the Western World, proper records are kept
and so in case of any medical condition in future, the appropriate treatment
would be given. More importantly, should the Adopted child wish to trace his or
her birth parents, it will be very easy to do so.
With
Africans, it is a totally different perception because the mind has been
conditioned that an African Woman must and should be able to have biological
children. When there is delayed parenthood, the in-laws begin to put pressure
on the couple and for the weak-minded, they can do the unthinkable. Some lose
their confidence, whilst others fall into depression - more so when the husband
decides to have children out of wedlock or marries another wife. The saddest
aspect is that in some parts of the African continent, there is a growing trend
of 'Baby Factories' - where 16 - 18 year old girls or even younger, are
impregnated by men in their 30s - just for women rich enough to buy the babies
and present to unsuspecting family members, and unknown to their husbands, that
they have been delivered of a baby in a far away 'hospital'. For those brave
enough to lie about the 'bought' babies, they live with the lie for a very long
time until a medical situation occurs which necessitates blood transfusion or
when the family decides to migrate from Africa and DNA is required. The
pressure on the woman is even greater when religious organisations in
particular, the churches begin to preach - "there shall nothing cast their
young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil"
(Exodus 23:26).
Some women are made to feel that they lack enough faith to
believe that God will answer their prayers. They therefore, refuse to adopt and
decide to 'wait upon the Lord' for several decades or for ever without having
their biological children. People should be reminded that the 'barrenness'
being referred to could also mean financial or marital lack and other forms of
activities one ought to achieve.
It
would help if Clerics, as part of their 'Corporate Social Responsibility', lead
by example by adopting children (particularly preachers who have delayed
parenthood) and preach about the unconditional love of caring for another human
being. To treat the adopted child/children as their own flesh and blood - and
not as domestic servants. Surely, then, the world would
be a better place for all. Those in the public eye perceived as
role models and who were adopted, could, as part of their 'Individual Social
Responsibility' help change mindsets, by making public declaration of their own
adoption. Several thousands, if not millions of babies' lives have been robbed
of better future due to the fact that they were abandoned and not adopted.
It
has to be noted that some Orphanages and Foundations which take care of
children, have been established by several people who can afford to do so. The
mindsets seem to be changing about adoption. It is a gradual process for people
to embrace adoption. Recognised adoption agencies need to publicise adoption
and provide the necessary support to those willing to adopt. There is a
misconception that adoption is only for people who have no children. People who
already have biological children can also adopt, including lone parents. What
is paramount is the AGAPE LOVE (Greco-Christian terminology which means the
love that 'embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends and
persists regardless of circumstance. for another human being'). In this season
of good tidings, if convenient for you, be part of this humanitarian belief
system. You do not have to be a global philanthropist before you make your own
contribution to the enrichment of the human race.
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